"An impossible mission!
We thought it was. We didn't even start, we didn't know how and we didn't believe it.
Then came Évi. I looked at her Facebook page, read the stories. I waved her down. BUT! She wouldn't leave me alone.
After all, if something doesn't work well, I don't wait for it to fix itself, I ask for professional help.
Our story:
In November we had a beautiful baby girl. We were very much looking forward to it, very much preparing. She was a drinking baby, she had a tummy whenever she asked for it. She fell asleep on a tummy, like many other babies. Then she couldn't sleep any other way. In fact! To sleep at all.
In a short time, we got to the point where she slept next to me, with her tummy in her mouth almost all night. Of course I didn't sleep, I just napped sometimes. She was not even 3 months old when I lost my mother. I broke her. Postpartum depression, grief, fatigue.
In the summer, it got to the point where I felt that breastfeeding was no good anymore. She was only willing to suckle when lying down and sleeping. He was completely overwhelmed by hunger and sleepiness.
And I was forced into bed every time he slept. I didn't have the time while the baby slept to cook, wash, iron, or just cry and grieve.
Of course, we couldn't talk to Dad either, spend quality time together. Intimacy was almost zero. When? When the baby was asleep, he'd hang on my boob. If he was awake, he was definitely first.
We had no help. Another grandma very far away. I woke up one day and wrote to Evie with tears streaming down my face. I thought, this can't be a problem.
Then we talked. His voice was so reassuring, encouraging, warm. We got started.
My little girl was not an easy case. I called Evie many times crying that it wasn't working, it was torture. I wanted to give up. Even three weeks ago.
We changed strategy, because Evie has a plan B and a plan C (and I think all the letters of the alphabet have a war plan associated with them).
We started working together a month and a half ago. We have now reached the point where I take my daughter to her bed at 8pm and we don't see each other until 7am.
The same goes for daytime sleep! That was the hardest one anyway. I had no idea, but I almost backed down from sleeping during the day. Sometimes he would go on strike and not sleep at all.
BUT YOU MUST NOT GIVE UP! This is the most important thing.
You thank yourself for teaching your baby to fall asleep, to go back to sleep. He is much more balanced now, and so are we.
Mum is sleeping, she has time and energy for Dad.
One night we opened a bottle of wine and watched a movie!
I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but for those of us in the same shoes, it means the world.
And breastfeeding? I haven't given up on that either! That's our time together. Sitting on the couch, snuggled up together, caressing each other! It's wonderful!
We have a smiling, beautiful little girl with smiling and loving parents.
What greater happiness is there in the world?
THANK YOU!"
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